Poetry

Poetry is a subjective medium. I write it for myself and without regard to “catching” the most favor with readers. I express it based on spontaneous impulse, intuition, and/or the niggling little wordsmith in the back of my mind who absolutely must speak no matter what I happen to be doing at the moment.

I’ve been writing poetry seriously for over 20 years, being mentored early on by the late poet Ruby Shackleford, teacher for over 60 years, including at the college level. She authored seven books of poetry and was an accomplished artist exhibited throughout Wilson County, NC. 

I have to give credit to this kind woman, who took time out of her days to speak to me one-on-one, share her thoughts and poetry and to point out things that might make my own poetry better. I had the benefit of chauffeuring her around and we were never in a rush. She was such a value to me. On the technical end she never said, “do this”, rather, she would say something like, “think about another word for this one,” and would even simply cross out parts of my poems that didn’t need to be there. 

More than the technical aspects of our meetings, she would go on about the wonder of words and how she always had dictionaries about her house to pull from. It was a craft, it required research and a way to define that in you which wanted to speak out, and to do it as succinctly as possible while retaining the whole of the experience. There was never thought as to how others would view your work, only that you express it clearly. 

She also “forced” me to try styles, like haiku, cinquain, acrostic, etc., to see how I would work in an “confined” structure. I did well, but my own voice tended toward free form, though I have my own particular style in that.

I share an excerpt of a letter she wrote to me:

“…is to tell you quickly that your fine letter & the poem was one of my season’s best greetings. You are my miracle! No other “student” I’ve ever had has grown so rapidly from a 1st grader to a college grad! Your poetry “sparkles”. You are really moving on. Please try to reach newspaper, magazines or any other modern public communications.”

How can one not like, or want to continue to do their best, with positives such as those?

Finding one’s voice is a difficult thing, it requires time, patience, the ability to listen to yourself and others (constructive), and repeated expression. It helps to come back to your expression later on, look at it with the objective eye that time apart from the work gives, and then, if with written word, read it aloud to yourself. Listen to how it sounds, how it flows. And feel completely free to chop it up and refine that which isn’t refined. 

Anyone can tell you they don’t like your work, your expression, but does what they say have any basis in reality, or is it merely something they react to simply because of their own emotional state, opinion of you, or other perception not really having to do with the work? Having someone say,”I didn’t like that poem, it made me feel sad” isn’t necessarily a bad thing at all. They drew something from the experience that triggered an emotional response. Your expression will have that effect on people one way or the other. If you did well.

There are those whose comments are simply a self-serving reflection of their need to feel good about themselves, even if it makes you feel bad. Those are often easy to spot, as well as those who are afraid to tell you their truth because it may hurt your feelings, so they only exude positives. 

The really great ones, from my perspective, not only tell you they liked it, or had problems with it, but also told you why, as it pertained to their experience. I love knowing how my work affects people. It tells me something about them, and I love learning about people.

As with most criticism, look at the source. If you value the source, then honestly look at the constructive elements of their response, how it can make you better at what you do. Getting emotional or letting yourself shut down serves no purpose to you the individual. Let not your light dim! I cannot express that enough. Remember: your voice is something no one else has. Express it.

So without further ado, I present to you a breakdown of some of my poetry, from my own objective view and then from my personal view as I was writing it. I have done this for a couple of people (on more personal or intimate poems) and it opened up an understanding, and beauty, they weren’t aware was there. Some poems are far too personal, and would reveal too much about the object/person of the poem without their consent, so you won’t be seeing those (probably). Others would reveal a great deal about me…I’ll think about it. At any point, here’s one that doesn’t expose myself too intimately.

I write these breakdowns somewhat stream-of-conscious, so please bear with me as I minimally pay attention to punctuation or grammar during this process. That is the only caveat you get : )

Breakdown: it’s work

mini chimneys burning

themselves before me,

decaying amid the

night sky and lamplight

purpose forward, the

Grind, spark illicit

thought, desire of the

genome and age of

rending that which

constrains, forbids the

freedom of our

nature

Objectively

It’s work implies struggle, moving through difficulty, or with some exertion. Mini chimneys implies small sources of smoke, people, walking ahead of the author…decaying amid the night sky, brings image of not only smoke wafting upward, but parts of themselves disappearing into the night, darkness, toward end of life..lamplight indicates light that isn’t the best source of illumination, not bright, or only bright in patches… purpose forward is a goal toward something, a choice based not necessarily on desire, but other motivation…the Grind, capitalized, it stresses the goal and its importance, a job, grind implying being crushed, ground up, parts of you tearing away…spark illicit thought indicates the previous generates thought not accepted by society or others…desire of the genome is base genetic expression, food, sex, safety and doing whatever it takes to maintain/acquire those…age of rending that which constrains, speaks of time when base genetic expression dictated action, where rending/tearing free of that which is constraining, be it any who impose constraints, or nature itself…forbids the freedom of our nature, again nature is indicated as base nature here, our constraints of job or accepted social norm forbids/constrains our base nature…ties in with title it’s work, implies then that it is not merely work, but work to keep our natures contained.

Personally 

Walking from the parking lot to work early morning (before 5am) my mind had great impulse to write what I was witnessing, people walking and smoking in front of me, their breath, their lives being burned up in the exhaust they put in the air, mini chimneys, the smoke, their lives, drifting up into the night sky where there was nothing more of them to be seen/experienced. They were unhappy, their mind on each step in front of them, doing something they had to do, passing under the lamplights overhead illuminated this unhappiness. I could see in their movements, men whose physical structure was meant for more freedom, more challenge than what they were getting, things that put their own life in their hands, where they chose their path and pursued it, an inspiriting that their genetic makeup knew, but had long since forgotten. It was there though, in their movement, their purpose and drive…it was controlling and containing that energy and base desire that was the actual work in their day to day lives.

Now, here’s your task: I will break down two other poems (or more depending on how many responses I get and the time I have). I ask that you contact me and let me know which of my poems from writerscafe you would like me to do this with.  I will select from the requests, and then post them at the end of this blog when complete. 

Thank you.

(Contact me on facebook, or with the email link at the right of the page)

Losing fat - The Ming Crunch

The Ming Crunch - How to lose fat (I did not say how to lose weight) in 12 weeks

GOAL: A healthy, functional body with lower body fat.

A lot of you aren’t going to like the suggestions I make here, but know that I have some extensive expertise in this particular area and know just what I’m talking about. This article is brought to you because a lot of people over the years have asked me for some quick information to help them get weight off. This kind of bugs the heck out of me. Anyone can take weight off, but wouldn’t you rather reduce body fat?

Most “diets”, especially “fast”, deal with dropping water weight and/or muscle mass. This is not hard to do. It is also not great for your body. And you will not be able to keep the “weight” off. Rebound is a reality. A conscious (that’s an important word, look it up please) healthy diet and exercise program is a choice. You want to make choices you can live with for the rest of your life (it’s your’s right? Who else is going to do it for you?).

First off

First things first: If you aren’t prepared to make a commitment to having a healthier body for rest of your life, don’t read further. Just go back to your cheese-covered nachos and leave the heavy lifting to those who can commit to a choice.

 (50% of you have left this page at this point, pulling your greasing fingers from the keyboard and are going to see what’s in the fridge you can take back to the couch. 40% of you want to do the same, but are so intensely curious as to what this guy is going to say that you stick around for the next part. 8% of you are determined to try the stuff this guy writes down for a whole 2 weeks, before succumbing to the aforementioned. 2% of you will commit to it like you do the changing of your kid’s diapers while holding a spatula in your hand making pancakes for your spouse, wearing super fluffy slippers on your feet so that you can simultaneously mop the floor while moving around.)

Cut it out

I’m not talking about stopping the poking in your sibling’s ribs while trying to agitate your mom with her annoying screams (okay all ready, jeesh). I’m talking about dropping the following from your vocabulary and food intake. (Do this. You’ll live, and life will still have flavor. Trust me.)

Drop the following 4:

Alcohol

Soda

Any fried foods (yes, I said any)

Cheese (don’t you fight me, I said drop it. “But what about..” No. “But?” No. “How about low-fat?” No. “Fat-free?” Yes. “But I don’t like fat-free!” Then why suggest it? And: too bad.)

All ready I hear the wailing, “but life will have no meaning, I’ll have nothing to live for! WAAAAAAAAH!”

Too bad.

I’m not called Ming the Merciless for nothing. You on this ride or not?

You also get to eat the other stuff not listed on the 4. That means pasta, breads (try choosing whole grain), cereals, vegetables (there’s a lot of these freakin things, try a ton of variety and eat the ones you like), baked foods, steamed foods, fish, chicken, turkey, red meat (try to limit to 2 meals a week of red), etc. 

Sweets

Limit this to 2-3 times a week. If you have a sweet tooth let it know when it can be satiated, not the other way around. Plan days that are “treat days” and stick to eating your sweets then. Mine is typically on the weekend. 

The secret

(You get to add those 4 thing back into your body after 12 weeks.)

Yes, I said 12 weeks.

The other secret

Sweat, or: working out really hard exercising.

(“WAAAAAAAAH!”) Cut it out, you’re only encouraging me.

Here’s the minimums:

Resistance exercise 3-4 times per week, 30-45 minutes per session (the heavier you train the less time, but man, you better be sweating and having 1-minute rest periods max). You must move weight. Isometric movements aren’t enough for this course.

Walking 90 minutes five times per week (2- 45 minute sessions if you can’t do the whole 90), or 35 minutes running 4 times per week. And I mean a BRISK walk (please look that word up), not some lollygagging mope. You made the choice, remember? Be happy about it. You should feel energized and have mild muscle fatigue from the BRISK walk. (Did I have to capitalize that word again? Oooh yeah, you know I did.)

Working out earlier in the day also kicks up your metabolism for the rest of the day. Train early if you can.

___________________

Awesome resistance training can be found with a good trainer, or bootcamp class that actually moves weight (whether it’s a car or kettle bells) and works plyometrics. 

And women, I know you love to work legs and butts (I love it too), but you’ve got to challenge yourself to working that upper body in the same frantic and possessed way.

And men, we all like looking at our big guns (biceps) and chest, but you need to blast the legs and butts too. Seriously. That lightbulb-shaped body just won’t cut it.

Who’s still with me? 

As I said, we’re all about losing fat, not weight. Muscle mass is heavier than fat. If you are training properly, you will increase muscle mass, so you’re actual weight number will go up at first (and girls, knock it off, the “but I don’t want to be bulky with muscle” excuse is ridiculous and doesn’t work with me. We should all be so fortunate to add muscle bulk as quickly as you image you would. As it stands, it’s an excuse that doesn’t hold up. You aren’t going to be Lou Ferrigno in 12 weeks, or 5 years for that matter. It’s too specialized and intense a field to pop that much muscle on.)

Though your weight number may go up during the first few weeks, you will trim down, as more lean muscle mass increases your metabolism. Clothes will fit better and you’ll feel better. You’ll be more mobile and niggling pains will go away.

The other other secret - how to eat, 5-6 times per day

Eat the pyramid method. No, I’m not talking the food pyramid. I’m talking about the following:

Eat your biggest meal in the morning (or start of your day).

Eat nutritious snacks in between meals, preferably with high quality protein.

Taper off your other meals to where your smallest meal is before bed. (This will also depend on when you train your heaviest: training heavy means you generally eat somewhat larger portions to help recovery)

Drink 6-8 oz glasses of water a day. I said water. You can have a sports drink on top of that. Don’t skip the water.

Add high-quality protein to your diet through protein bars or shakes. You’ll need the extra amino acids to help repair and recover from your training. (Eggs, and specifically egg whites, are a healthy and inexpensive choice for quality protein if you’re on a tight budget.)

Breakfast

Eat your breakfast! Over the couple of decades I’ve been training people, two things stand out for people who don’t eat breakfast: migraines and being overweight (or they just can’t seem to ever lose weight no matter how hard they train).

You goal is to increase your metabolism, make it more efficient to burn fat. When you starve yourself, or calorie omit for long periods of time, your body’s metabolism slows down. Calories are shunted to fat stores to help survive the “starving” period. Keeping your body supplied with nutritious (look that one up too) food every 2.5-3 hours, along with exercise, helps to increase your metabolism.

Our bodies are made for positive physical stress (exercise). Why else would you have muscles that respond positively to resistance exercise? Why else would the body, through it’s own pharmacy, produce chemicals and hormones to help you feel great as a result of the same? 

The opposite is true as well. Muscle atrophy and improper calorie consumption produces a whole host of short and long-term problems, most requiring mobility assistance later on, increased perception of pain, and the inclusion of harmful drugs required to counter a harmful lifestyle.

Calories

You can’t go anywhere if you don’t know where you are.

I’ve written (long ago) on how to work your calories, finding your basal metabolic rate (the number of calories you require at rest - that means the number of calories burned by your body even if you were to do nothing but sleep all day), etc. I’ve reproduced the article here: (http://corejkd.com/main/Nutrition_and_Core_JKD_Aug_2004.htm)

I cover “rest” there also, so I won’t add much to it in this article. Rest is important, healthy eating and plenty exercise will help you rest better.

Habits

If you associate your food intake with television, then drop television and pick up reading, writing, choir practice, painting, etc. In other words, find out what triggers an unhealthy association for food other than hunger. Emotional eater? Get a journal/diary and write with a hunger, rather than stuff feelings down. 

It comes down to paying attention, being aware of things you do, and their triggers. With awareness, there’s realization, and with that there’s the ability to make habit changes. 

People get overweight because of unhealthy habits. You get out of being overweight for life by making new habits.

After

After the 12 weeks you can start to slowly integrate those 4 elements back into your diet. But don’t go crazy. By the end of 12 you should have some new taste experiences and also have the awareness on what feels good for your body. With time away from fat, you lose a taste for it, or rather you develop an understanding of how horrible it is to feel it settling on your stomach and slowing you down.

Compensate/regulate your calories by reducing others if you add the 4. Remember, you are trying to maintain a fairly healthy daily calorie total, trying to keep fat to 30% of your diet or less. Remember, fried foods are calorie dense, and fat stores more easily as fat on your body than carbs or protein.

Keep up your training to compensate for your calorie intake. You should have a better idea how that works now. Calories consumed above what’s needed to maintain your current weight needs to be burned off. That means get your butt out and exercise off what you put in your mouth.

So to sum it up:

Make a choice, stick with it.

Drop the 4

Eat your breakfast and 5-6 smaller meals a day

Sweat with the minimums (you can go higher) of resistance training and cardio

Change to new habits






I include here a few picts of what my training and this does for a body (mine):

How to treat people

How to treat people

No major caveats here. Most (sane) people will respond to the following positively, and application of such would relieve a lot of tension, not to mention increase a synergy all around.

Who are you?

This is one of the toughest statements in the English language it seems. As humans we have a tendency to group people according to comparative reference, “that which you have experienced”, in an effort to protect ourselves or loved ones from physical or emotional pain. The descendant logic tree for this usually starts out with our senses, sight and smell first, then, if that isn’t offensive, we breach beyond to the next phases, categorizing people (in no particular order) according to height, weight, hair coloring, clothing, state of health, sound of voice, etc. There are some people who also place skin coloring at the forefront of this analysis, to which I personally find no value, other than in how different coloring adds to the beauty of the human visual spectrum. Skin coloring has no relation to character and personality. Think about it, really think about it…none.

It’s also somewhat of a shame that people put value in political stance or religiousness, or lack of, as priority when evaluating potential connection to others. Certainly, there are organizations and groups whose mandate is based on a foundation of hate or lack of understanding, thinly veiled, or blatant, and it is understandable to not want to associate with them. But when politics and religious or non-religious stances are used to support or express base fear (denied, disguised or undiscovered), then it becomes a tragedy for civilized structure. The “unknown” becomes a place we place our fears. There’s a lot of room in the unknown.

The next phase in categorizing people is broken down by the “defensive” investigator with questions like, “what do you do?”, “where do you work?”, “who do you know?”, “where are you from?”, “where did you go to school?” and so on.

If the person is pleasing, or at least acceptable in the physical aspects, then people add the other questions to define potential for supporting or advancing their own personal human network infrastructure. Beyond that, questions are asked based on personal preferences, comparatively, in order to find similarities with new people to establish possible friendships or deeper relationships.

What really matters though when connecting with someone? Similarities, commonalities, yes, but what else? What question can you ask someone to gain a meaningful understanding of them?

Ever ask anyone the question, “what inspires you?”. 

Now that’s a question that’ll give you a couple of pathways: flummoxed or not flummoxed.

Flummoxed:

A) the person has never thought of the question because they are not at a point in their life where they have examined themselves and what makes them “move” in this life, or they’ve done the personal work, but have never had anyone ask the question, so an answer was not readily available.

 B) the person has an answer they would love to share, or are uncomfortable sharing because of how they may be perceived or accepted.

C) they have never been inspired in their life (unlikely).

Not flummoxed:

A) the person has an answer they would love to share, and do. And you gain a deep understanding (if they are honest).

B) the person has an answer they would love to share, or are uncomfortable sharing because of how they may be perceived or accepted.

Accepting a person for who they are:

I have other writing I do, a lot on the human condition, my anthropological philosophy, if you will, to be published at some future date. (Yes, it has a name, just not for release yet). Here’s a little guideline from it that will help you accept a person for who they are:

Creed of the Individual © 

I am not my skin color

I am not my parents or siblings

I am not my sexual orientation

I am not my nationality/ancestry

I am not my religion

I am not your fears

The person in front of you is an experiential individual, no two humans share the same experiences. Each is relayed through the makeup of their physical chemistry, genetic expression, or personal interpretation and response. Accept them for that. Allow them their unique expression and interpretation, it will allow them to grow, and that growth colors the world richer. 

Many miles up, our earth looks fairly uniform in color and substance, not a lot of variety, browns, blues, whites, greens. As we move closer and closer, we realize there is nothing about nature that exists in complete sameness. People are like that as well. Time with someone reveals twists and turns in thought and creativity and expression that one doesn’t at all see from the package of skin and hair we are first presented with. The more honest a person is in their expression, the less time we have to deal with “weeding” people out, or into, our own experience. 

Now there are people who may read this and apply some righteous indignation about how one simply does not accept evil, or destructive people into their lives. To that I say, let’s have a little common sense here and keep our “obvious” heads on so I don’t have to state the same. 

Accepting a person for who they are means that you don’t project on them what you want them to be. It also means you don’t pigeon-whole them into containers because outwardly they seem to fit a certain category you or others have defined.

Have patience and demonstrate respect. Respect = to regard highly, and: willingness to show consideration or appreciation, and: admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities. 

In the corporate structure (and I do have some frustrating experience here), the best managers and supervisors - and most productive as a result, allow their employees to be themselves within the confines of company protocol, safety and job description. They simply let the employees do their work - and they appreciate them for it. The worst managers and supervisors are those who love to micromanage, and who express that love to the employees under them. Micromanagement wastes employee resources or denies a person the opportunity to “shine”. Micromanagement is assuaging one’s own OCD by expressing it on another.

I could go on there, but I simply don’t have the time to delve into that particular brand of insanity; micromanagement, not OCD (I have a novel to finish after all). 

 Recognize and support their strengths

How do you recognize someone’s strengths? Patience, observation, and giving one the freedom to do “their thing”. When you give someone the safety net of letting them be who they are, they surprise the hell out of you with their ingenuity, creativity, and gifts - some they may not have discovered until you gave them the opportunity.

Once you recognize a person’s strengths, you can best support them by simply asking the question, “what can I do to help?”. Don’t assume you have the knowledge to know the particular internal pathways a person goes through to demonstrate a gift. If you want to support someone, ask that question, and then do it if you can. Especially if the answer is, “let me be”. An individual is such an internal exploration, they may not even know how to answer that question, but I assure you, you letting them know you are there to help if you can does wonderful things for the spirit.

Appreciate them

I’ve written about this before. This is where you showcase - without wanting to receive anything back - your respect, admiration and even love for someone. Do it. There isn’t enough of that in this life. 

We’ve all been there

One other obstacle to overcome when defining how to treat people is accepting the knowledge that we’ve all been there. We’ve all felt pain, we’ve all had hardships - some greatly more than others. In the end we all want what is best for ourselves and our loved ones and we all want positive life experiences toward a brighter, more connected, future.

Because of the land I was raised in, I value freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and prosperity for everyone. Because of my experiences in life, I have learned to champion and highly value the creating human individual. At our base, that’s what we are…no matter where you are.

(©Shaun Rudie 2011)

Taking for granted...

Taking for granted…

First I have to preface this intended article on the basis that I am talking about people who love each other, even adore each other, and wish for a long happy life with that person. I have some experience in this arena, and from perspectives a lot of you probably wouldn’t believe (one or two of you might). I am going to talk from the perspective of a male with female, but it applies to all. It’s just a perspective I’m comfortable with.

Setup

Some relationships are set up to fail from the beginning for many tried and true reasons (I’m referring to reasons why people get together in the first place): Alcohol, peer pressure, expectations from parents, expectations from self at “established” ages in life, expectations for a mate clouding the reality of who is actually standing before you, dishonesty from the mate about who they are, your own dishonesty, immaturity, mental disorders (not a joke, though I chuckle from some experience), wanting to get out of a bad situation, religion, loneliness. Yeah, just a few. There’s more, but these cover a lot of bases.

Reasons why people stay in failing relationships: fear

Okay, I’ll elaborate on that just a bit. Fear of being alone, fear of financial loss, fear for children, fear of breaking established friendships and family ties, fear of being alone. Oh, I said that one. Well, it’s a big one.

Seems we humans find comfort even in negative relationships. It’s that persistent and adaptive part of our species that screws up a lot of lives including offspring. But just as we can adapt to ongoing negative stimuli, we can just as well adapt to new challenges that in the long run better ourselves and are better for ourselves and those connected to us.

Reasons for failure of a relationship are often rooted in the setup surrounding the forming of the relationship and those reasons that have little to do with us as a unique and creating individual.

I’m not going to here go into how one needs to establish themselves as a whole person instead of trying to find that in someone else. Or that no one else can make you happy, you make yourself happy. Someone else can boost you to new heights, inspire you to grow, charge you with feelings of contentment, joy and even wonder, but you have to do the work on knowing yourself, liking what you know, and then expressing your gifts.

That’s another article.

Assuming…

So let’s assume that we are talking about people who are together for better reasons than listed in the setup above. You met the person doing something you love, or were introduced, and a spark or a familiarity came over the both of you. You have a lot of things in common, you think alike, you have the same motivations in life, same religious views - or lack thereof, you like the way each other looks, smells, feels. You like their energy. Not a bad place to start. 

Humanity reasserts…

So you’re in a relationship with someone you love. Humans have a propensity toward pattern, recognizing them, exercising them. Every human being is unique. We all have some commonalities regarding needing to eat, breathe, sleep, use the bathroom, we have generally the same physical modalities, and we all have a desire to express ourselves in some way. 

Life comes at us and thrusts upon us the mantle of responsibility for ourselves and others. With that, we care, nurture, love, share. Some of us take more than we give, some give more than they should (in a way that reduces their ability and, dare I say, necessity, to remain healthy, mentally, physically, spiritually).

There is a certainty that opposites attract, and then bug the hell out of each other with that opposition later on. As the years move on we tend to fall into predictable patterns, not for just our own selves, but for those we love. And over time that, and they, become so much accepted “background” that we often don’t think of them until catastrophe or unhappiness stirs one to motivate attention. We listen (or cover our ears if the voicing is too loud), look at the situation, promise to do better, and then return to familiarity. To pattern.

Take a look…

Instead of allowing pattern and moving our loved ones to the stigma of “background”, we need to actively step outside ourselves, and our lives, and truly view what is, and who is, before us. Take the time, literally, schedule it if you have to, take it away from all those other things that are truly the background to the two of you moving through life. 

Now that you have that time, just sit, watch the other person (they don’t have to know about this, and it would help if they didn’t), take out a pencil and paper and just observe and write what you see and feel. Let your mind comb over all they are and do for you, for themselves, what makes you smile about them, what makes you think about them when you're not with them. 

You can do this mentally, but writing it is incredibly valuable feedback, we react to it differently when we get away from just that mercurial, insubstantial thought process and see it in concrete, and unchangeable form of letters and words on paper. If you’re so inclined, draw pictures that represent what you see and feel about the other person. This isn’t to be graded or corrected in any way, so don’t care about spelling either. This is for you to recognize the person you love a little more clearly, and to make you see value in what you may have taken for background noise.

Appreciate…

The next step is to appreciate the person you are with, the one you love and admire are inspired by, the one you smile at when you see them after a long day. Appreciation can be shown in so many ways, but the most important, and memorable, have to do with you and your time. Stop  your  life. Introduce your loved one to that opening in time, and spend it with them as wholly as you can. For the minutes, hour or 10 that you have, set aside worries and commitments and immerse yourself in a moment of sharing. Sharing your verbal appreciation for them, sharing your muscles in cleaning the house with them, sharing your hug or massage, or a nice thought on paper. 

Anyone can buy a rose, but how many of you have taken the time to draw a rose, cut one out of paper? Made a little song for your partner. Think of it as a commitment of self to a process that requires your time and energy, just like work. Just like your favorite hobby. 

An appraiser has to really spend time looking at that painting, or that house, and immerse themselves in the detail before he/she understands its value. When you take that time to look, including some good memory, you may recognize some of the things you’ve taken for granted.

Appreciate (verb) : recognize the full worth of

Love has really only one requirement: that you show appreciation for it, in some way, at some time. Don’t be snowed in by that “unconditional love” stuff, it doesn’t exist (except in most cases of mother/child father/child). Not in any meaningful way between two people who share a life together. Just try taking advantage of your partner using that “well, she has unconditional love for me”.

Reasons…

As I said, people often get together for the wrong reasons, and stay together for the wrong reasons. The key is, is it working for you? Is it enough to make you a better you when you’re with that person? Is there something about them that inspires, or makes you love life all the more? And is your presence in their life doing the same for them?

The saying, “some people are in your life for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime” is a good take on things. Allows you to continue with an understanding that if the person is with you for just a reason, then figure out what that reason is. Learn from it. Apply the knowledge, ‘cause if you have to move on, at least you’ll take it with you, and hopefully that will help prevent the same problems in your next relationship. 

Onward…

And remember, life moves on. There are some wonderful people out there, millions of them. And maybe quite a few who will inspire you into a wonderful relationship. Just remember to appreciate what you have, and what you have to give.

Inspiration

Inspiration

My latest inspiration came from a couple of close friends of mine who inspire me in different ways to “stay the course” on long endeavors like writing a novel. One is a rather smart woman I admire for many reasons, she sends me tiny visual tidbits when I’m past my deadline for writing my blog that are meant to provoke me to action. Here’s one of them from her recently (I share because I like the visual pull):

“Having expected some and gotten none, the hand apathetically withdraws back into darkness…”

And another:

“A mild whimper grew in intensity until it reached the crescendo of loud wails…”

I sure didn’t want the image to get any worse, so I stopped my life a bit and sat down to write this. After all, I all ready had a rather good day getting my other projects done, chapter 11 of my novel is well under way and my cooperative art project has been added to.

Another inspiring woman (and I really mean that) has been taking my creative “intention” and making me accountable for it. We recently signed a pact for a deadline for our individual creative projects - an exciting and grueling co-commitment. It’s a pact after all, worlds will explode if we don’t come through.

I tend to have many paths for my creativity to express itself. They are tied around a few mainstays of my personal identity: writing, art, and guiding my fellow martial artists to new physical, and in some, spiritual, heights. Breaking that down: 

Training people for physical individual expression is challenging and rewarding. You have sets of rules you have to follow, physics for one, where you have no say in the matter as far as physical constants, range of motion, or mass and inertia are concerned. And then there are functional body mechanics, refining one to standards of efficiency, or doing the most with the least. Beyond that it’s taking what is before you, the individual, finding out what they bring to the table and then helping them free themselves from some of their mental and physical restraints (self or other imposed) so they can function fluidly with another creating individual. Elements of chess, physics, and freedom of expression combine to make a statement of the creative self. It isn’t about hitting or throwing or kicking. It’s about living and dynamically creating in the present. The worries of life surrounding training disappear and one is taught to immerse in the present. 

Writing is an immersion in a kernel of thought/visual that blossoms into a visual/emotional/textural expression of characters and story. In my head it’s wonderful, powerful, a vast expanse of world-shaking creation. On paper, on screen, I have to connect my words to my immersion so that everyone else can see, and hopefully I convey it with enough practiced connection that what I see and feel internally gets shared with some accuracy. 

In art there are two forms of expression I am currently involved in. Figure drawing and…Anashun. Don’t bother looking up Anashun, I made up the word (poetic creative license remember? An amalgam of Anna and Shaun) to describe a particular freeform drawing experience shared by two artists - the results are pretty awesome (at least we think they’re nifty). 

Figure drawing is taking in what’s before me, connecting to some internal mechanism that exists completely in the present, and then drawing on paper what I see. The process is an un-encumbering of what I experience in the rest of my daily life. The critic is silenced, the world shuts out, and I…well, sometimes I hum. I’m silent enough that I don’t bother anyone else, but what can I say, the body does it’s own thing when I shed my attention of time.

Anashun is taking what someone else has started and growing from that. The internal mechanism is different than figure drawing. Figure drawing has rules of line and proportion, Anashun has one rule (well, two if you add the 25 minute time limit), you must branch off of what has been drawn (essentially a refined doodle). From there your mind takes in the visual, intuits your own connected creative tie, flavors it with your individual expression, and then draws. Absorbs the newness of the combined. And draws. The immersion is wonderful and very time-shedding. The end product is…well, for us at least, inspiring. We’re branching into other modalities too. You work 25 minutes with it, pass it to the other artist and then they get it back to you a day or a week later when they’ve added to it. Quite interesting what two creative minds can express in relation to another.

Isn’t that what it’s all about though? How we all connect, share, create, and then express anew? That’s what inspiration is about, a shared experience. Whether that experience is witnessing the way sunlight plays on water mist, a child’s laughter, processing a complex math equation, or just you going about your life being true to yourself and expressing that truth freely. That’s inspiring. And that’s world-changing when we share it.

I have inspiring people prodding me to new heights, truly wonderful people who share a tie to me that is supportive and bleeds creative. I am fortunate, and I let them know it frequently by thanking them in some way. What they inspire me to do inspires them and others.

Thank the people around you who inspire you in some way, if even with just a touch on the arm or a wonderful, heartfelt smile. That smile can make someone’s day, and someone else’s, and on and on. A ripple effect of the positive. 

Inspiration doesn’t work if it isn’t out there working.