Vulnerability...

When one looks at what makes up good stories or movies, you would have to include vulnerability among the key components. With the exception of most of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s films (yes, I enjoy “The Ah-nold” too), good ones connect with us by reaching in and touching that part of us that intrinsically wishes to protect another, whether from physical harm, or emotional.
 

It’s easy to put a child up on screen or in a novel and have the audience almost immediately act on natural instinct (instinct most of us have, generally speaking) in a way that motivates us to engage the character, invest part of ourselves in him/her. For instance:

     Molly wanted to cry. Something had bitten her. She pulled one hand away from her blanky, the thumb of her free hand firmly entrench in her mouth as tears welled up on her lower lids, and tried to scratch her shoulder.

     Something snapped in the trees near her.

     Molly thrust both hands to her mouth as she let out a squeak of fear and froze. Tears came hot down her cheeks as she started to cry softly, her body tight and afraid.

     “Mommy?”

     She cried into her blanky and called out again. She was lost in the woods, but not alone.

So, hopefully, you felt a little something reading that light trip into my mind. Almost instinctive isn’t it? That wanting to protect that little girl.

Now I’m fully willing to accept that there are some of you out there who aren’t in touch with the softer side that wants to protect young children from harm. Some of you need a man carrying a large axe sneaking up on the wife who is oblivious and gardening, content that this is indeed the last weed she’s going to pull this day. Or even a good friend who stood next to you and was shot because he stepped into the line of fire ahead of you, and who now lays in your arms, his uniform darkening where the bullet ripped a hole in his chest.
 

And don’t get me started on animals. I’d have to say that most of us indeed have a soft, protection engaging, button somewhere.

Vulnerability. For us writers, it’s what’s for supper. Sit down with me, I’ve been slaving over a hot stove all day ; )

Pride...

I have to say I’m a little tired of people being afraid of some pride in themselves, what they do or accomplish or have that’s unique about them.

“Pride goeth before a fall," commonly used. Dislike it immensely. In truth, "everything goeth before a fall."

Stems from people having a need for control, that if they abide by that dictum somehow their life will be less filled with failure, or the impact from it. Bah. Life is failure, life is challenge, life is wondrous. It is in our nature to fail, we wouldn’t have natural adaptation to counter such, from physiological pharmacy to heuristic pathways to psychological mechanisms (good or bad) to deal with it effectively and - (are you ready for this?) - grow.

Unreasonable self-esteem and arrogance are completely a different subject, to which I say, “the unfounded shall not be purveyed”. Kind of like that one, yep, there goes some of that pride again. 

Enjoying what you do, sharing with others because it is simply an honest and joyful expression of yourself, should not be looked upon as arrogance or unreasonable. I have found a very few people look at me and some of the things I “share” and insist I’m a bit cocky about the material. They are people who don’t know me. It is never about me, it’s always about the material I am sharing or expressing.

Now, I have to admit, there are times when I’ve poked and prodded people in my playful manner, and I disguise it as cocky, but that is purely an effort to stimulate challenge in those around me to better themselves. I sometimes really love doing that (challenging others to better). And you know what? For the most part it works. I have watched people rise and meet the challenge and go way beyond their complacency to achieve things, build character, etc. I. Love. That. I cannot think of a better compliment than someone telling you, “you inspired me" whether it extended from me "acting" cocky or just expressing myself truthfully.

Believe me, being in the self-defense arena for nearly 30 years, and teaching hundreds of people for over 10, gives me a somewhat unique perspective on dealing with egos and unfounded pride. Whew, even the thought of it is exhausting. It forced me to come up with my motto ten years ago: "CoreJKD exists for the growth of the individual, it is an experience for exceeding your own personal limits - and not for conquering the limits of others." That pretty much sums up my experience with people and life (just substitute "life" for CoreJKD" and you'll see what I mean, heck, you might even agree with me a little). Through our own honest growth and expression, we tend to inspire people somewhere along the line.

Playing it safe, makes you part of the stream. Taking risk, pushing limits - and being freakin happy about what you’ve accomplished (yeah, proud), makes you the director of the stream, able to change the shape of the landscape, and reach out to feed green life where you have never been before. 

Inspiration comes from expression, first within us, then outward from us. Pride doesn't have to be bold and blathering, but one shouldn't shy away from it either. False modesty sucks and merely invites more patting on the back and assurances, just a subtle form of manipulation and dishonesty. When I am proud of something, it's as though I am looking at it from outside myself, I honestly don't connect myself to it like one would think. I am as happy and charged about it as if it had come from someone else. 

"Pride goeth before a fall" is for a group of "safers". On the other side of it, if we are proud and do fall, so what? That's life. It doesn't require an arrogant soul, just one who pushes their own boundaries and isn't quite afraid to admit they did something honest.